Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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