You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
