You really coming over, don't trick.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
