Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
