you traded sex for a burrito?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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