Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You are a genius and a whore.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
