Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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