Just fell off a train. Bad.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize