You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
