Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
