I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
