beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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