so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
