Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
