So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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