Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
