I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
