you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
