i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
