I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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