If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
