"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
