we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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