the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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