Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize