Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
