She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize