I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
