there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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