hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
