Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
