I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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