do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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