i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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