Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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