Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
