i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
