I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
