I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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