i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
