ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
