Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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