have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
