We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
