We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize