Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
