Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
