don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
