she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize