That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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