Will you blow on my dice?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
