Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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