My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
