The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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