you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
