why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
